Ever felt confused by the classics?

Confused by the classics?
Fear not! Here, in an excerpt from the wonderful Victoria Wood’s Dinnerladies, Bren tries to explain some classic literature to Anita………

Anita: Is Catherine Cookson the one on the telly? And it’s all lovely and old fashioned. And they go round in carriages?

Bren: No, that’s Jane Austen. If they’re in carriages and their bosoms are, like, just under their chins, that’s Jane Austen. Catherine Cookson…there’d be, like, an ‘orse ‘n cart. And they get pregnant a lot, ‘n chop ‘eads off mackerel. And it’s raining. And their bosoms’d be a lot lower.

Anita: And the Jane Austen ones, are they Shakespeare?

Bren [pausing before she answers]: No……there’s Dickens. Are you thinking of Dickens? If they’re all, like, covered in warts, and they go “Oh, Mr. Whizzigough”, that’s Dickens. [Anita nods uncertainly] Shakespeare…….that’s BBC2, and they have, like, robes on. And they never sit down, ‘n they run on. Have you never seen them?

Anita [shaking her head]: I don’t know.

Bren: Yeah, they run on. “What is it with you?” “Oh, the Duke of Widdlybobs and such ‘n such, and such ‘n such has fallen down the stairs in ‘er nightie.” “OK, fair enough. Off ye go.” That’s Shakespeare…..it’s great!

So there you have it. We hope that’s cleared up any confusion.

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